So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
