Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
