over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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