I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
