Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
