Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
