the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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