You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he fucked my hip out of place.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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