I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
