I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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