So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
