I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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