i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
