Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Randomize
