It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
