Nicole vs. Life
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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