You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
