so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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