i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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