I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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