Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
