5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
