Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize