Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
