Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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