Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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