i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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