she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
