Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
