Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
