Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
