i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
