i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
