I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
