If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Are my feet made of real feet?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
