Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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