at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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