so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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