Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am mentally ready for anal.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
