I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
