i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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