would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
