when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
