If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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