No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
