i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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