My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
