youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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