I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i think my cat just said my name.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
