Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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