But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
try to milk me bitch
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
