At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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