you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
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it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
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I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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