You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
