She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
