gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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