If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
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I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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