your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
