so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
