i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
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Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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