Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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